YOU MAY NOT think it, but similarities can be drawn between the world of petrolheads and the scary world of 1 Direction fans.
We’ve all seen the frankly frightening consequences of angering the army of 12-year-old girls who devote every aspect of their lives, but most notably their social media profiles, to the manufactured boy band 1 Direction. If you haven’t, I suggest you click here and prepare the utter words now synonymous with Futarama’s Professor Farnsworth; “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
What, I hear you asking, have those deranged Twitter messages got to do with car fans? Well, the ultra-devoted car fan can display 1 Direction tendancies. Something I was reminded of a little while ago when I spotted an Aston Martin Cygnet while driving through the city of Winchester.
The Aston Martin Cygnet is, as we all know, simply a rebadged Toyota iQ (above) sold at twice the price. As such, I posed the rhetorical question, “Is there a dafter car on sale?” on Twitter. Within minutes I recieved an angry reply from an Aston Martin fan club account. Now I want to make it plain, I do not follow this account nor does it follow me, so the only way it could have seen my tweet was if the person behind it was constantly searching for tweets containing “Aston Martin”. This is certainly, erm, dedicated. But actually defending the honour of the Cygnet?! I thought even the most hardened Aston fans could see it for what it really was. It seems I was wrong.
If you visit enough forums, or dare to read the comments under pretty much any car related video on YouTube, you’ll quickly realise that every automotive culture has its, shall we say, ardent fans; be they Porsche 911 fans arguing the case for rear-mounted engines, BMW fans extolling the virtues of rear-wheel-drive, Corvette fans championing American muscle, Nissan GT-R fans pushing four-wheel-drive or any others you care to mention who will argue until they’re blue in the face and you’ve lost the will to live that their car is superior in whatever scenario is under discussion. Regardless of any facts, figures or evidence. But the worst, by a clear country mile, are Ferrari fans.
And before anyone gets upset, I’m not talking about your average Ferrari fans here. No, I’m talking about The Tifosi. A group for whom Ferrari is not simply a racing team and car manufacturer, but a religion. They simply will not concede that their F1 car is not good enough, but that Red Bull et al. simply got lucky or cheat, and that any race where their team doesn’t win is “boring”. They do not understand that the new Ferrari La Ferrari has a stupid name and is actually quite ugly. As far as they’re concerned it is the ultimate pinnacle of not just automotive art and performance, but the very zenith of human achievement. Dare to suggest that the McLaren P1 or Porsche 918 are better and you’d better have an industrial washing machine at the ready, because you’ll be cleaning equine blood from your pillows for months.
Luckily, these extreme fans are in the minority. The rest of enjoy cars an appropriate amount but don’t let it dictate how we live the rest of our lives or make us foam at the mouth when someone on the internet disagrees with out point of view.
I also understand that I’m opening myself up to a lot of hate messages by writing this but it needed to be said, before things go to far. We are, for the most part, intelligent grown men and women who enjoy the engineering, styling, sound and driving experience afforded by one of the greatest inventions of the last few centuries, not teenage girls having inappropriate thoughts about members of Simon Cowell’s latest money printing machine.
That said; OMG have you seen Harry Styles’ hair!!!1!!!!!